The hardest part

What is the hardest part of dealing with some unexpected life event. For us it has been adjusting to a new reality and not knowing what that new reality is. Living with so many unanswered questions. Where is my husband in the recovery spectrum-- he's long since bumped off the the "officially disabled" list, but is he where he was before? If not how close is he from that spot.

I guess the reality is that we will not ever be where we were before. His mind changed forever that day. The stroke did that. Since his stroke our hearts changed - our life experince did that.  Our family size has changed - time passing did that. And now our dreams are even shifting. Somedays I feel like I'm back in college picking a career. Going one way, trying that for a minute than moving back a different direction. It's been very hard to let go of the doctor thing. He chose a career he worked for that career he paid more than a mortgage for the education for that career. Looking back trying to finagle a way back in has been some of our lifes work some years. But ultimately - dreams can change and it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Living the unexpected doesn't mean living worse off. It means getting creative and making every minute count. It means making the most of what you have. It means closing your eyes and shutting out all the noise and finding out what really matters.

The hardest part is believeing there is something better and then what you were living before. Believing everyday is going to be better. That all the hard work will pay off and you will be OK. The easiet part is the why. The why we're doing it. Why you rise from the ashes and move forward. We do it for each other. We do it for our kids. There isn't a mountain I wouldn't move for my husband and children, and I know my husband would do the same for me and our kids.