Holding On

So much of our experince in this life has to do with perception. Our perceptions of situations turn into "stories" that then dictate our attitude. I have been working lately to change the "story" I tell myself. I don't think it is fair to hold the future hostage with unrealistic expectations. For my husband sometimes I tell myself he won't ever find a good job. It's been more than five years and the hope of becoming a doctor has waned and we are still not sure where to go next. Sometimes I tell myself things like "it's not fair" or "no one understands." But these are all just stories.

We all have our own demons that we just can't let go of - as horrible as they are for us. I know we can let go. I know I can let go. I'm trying to change my story so our future is better. It doesn't do any good to complain. It doesn't do any good to hold grudges. I'm learning these things only hurt my relationship my my husband and kids. Faith comes before the miracles. Sometimes I feel that by holding onto my fears I am forgoing a better way. I have a sense that if I can change "stories" I tell myself (that are not accurate), it will change our life for the better.

What are the demons you are holding onto? What are the stories you are telling yourself that aren't true?  Lets change them together :)

Summer

Announcement

So we were planning on having another baby in a year or two, but looks like something else happened instead...We're pregnant and entering my second trimester. Our baby is due March 11th. I spent the first week in disbelief - not sure if I was ready to take on this new responsibility. Our oldest boy has really taken me for a spin lately. Keeping up with his terrible two's has just about done me in. I think the thought of doing the same thing every year for at least the next couple years with two more two-year-olds is enough to make me crazy. So as I was writing myself this crazy tale a few things occurred to me:

The first is- there is no greater gift on this earth than the gift of a child. The blessings each child brings into our lives are endless. The relationship we enjoy with each one is priceless, and the love we get in return is never ending. We feel so blessed to be bringing this child in our home. We pray for the power and ability to provide the best opportunities for this baby and our other boys. As we pray for this confirmation the Lord has helped us feel like He will provide- as they are His children too.

We are grateful and overwhelmed right now. We feel dwarfed by the enormous responsibility that is before us. Now more than ever- we close our eyes and believe. We have faith in the future. We know we can do hard things. We are grateful that we don't have to do those hard things alone and that soon we will have three (instead of two) beautiful children lending us their smiles and holding us up in our most difficult of times. We know the Lord will sustain us and we pray for his strength as we try to be worthy of His care.